When I was a little girl I didn't play with dolls. I thought they were a waste of time and space. I also didn't like stuffed animals. I was weird, I know. I liked to play war in the woods and go exploring. I remember coming home one time, covered in mud from falling in a ditch, and thinking that my mom was going to kill me because I'd gotten so messy. She saw me coming home, covered in slimy gross mud while crying that I'd fallen, and she laughed. She thought it was great. Cleaned me up and I didn't even get in trouble. I don't have many pleasant memories like that My parents divorced when I was seven.

Now I'm going to be a parent and it is starting to hit me that this is going to change my life in more ways than I expected. I will have to compromise with the father of the child in many ways. Living arrangements, day-care, expenses (which are a sticky subject) and the like. I'm having a hard time with it. He typed up a PRENATAL AGREEMENT. I don't like it. It makes me face reality in a hard way. I'm going to have to plan, to grow up. I don't want to do that yet. I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready.