I'm feeling pretty weepy today. I've been feeling off all day. I'm not sure what it is. My boss took one look at me and told me to go home. So, I finished up my paperwork and home I went.

The donor asked me to watch his boys this weekend, as early as 7 in the morning, so I figured that I would go over his house if that was alright. So I paged him about coming over, that way I wouldn't have to drag myself out of bed at 6 in the morning, and got a message back that he and the boys would be entertaining his ex-girlfriend that evening, but I was welcome to come over after 9.

Some how that didn't help improve my feelings. I know I'm not feeling very secure about things, but to hear that he doesn't want me to come over because he is going out with his ex-girlfriend put me at the bottom of the barrel. If I wasn't feeling suicidal then, then I am now.

Here I sit... almost 9 months pregnant, with nothing better to do. No friends in my area and depressed as hell. I want this all to be over with. I want everything to disappear. I don't want to have any feelings anymore. I don't want anything.