I need to get my hormones in check. I am starting to have a pinch of desire (which is a rare thing since being on zoloft), but it comes at the most inconvenient times. When I want it to come, I am SOL. What the heck! I just want to feel some desire. I'm about 2 seconds from chucking the Zoloft out the door. I can't take this anymore.

I've been to sex toy parties; Hell, I even hosted one! Still, with all the creams and jellies and dildos, NOTHING. Not one spark. It's like my vagina is dead. I'm about to hold a funeral for it.

The donor is convinced I'm having an affair. Hell. I can't even get it activated for my home life, let alone extracurricular activities. Needless to say, he is wrong.

My sister is going to watch the rugrat while we try to have some date night going. Maybe I'll find a cheap motel and we can stay there for a few hours...