I've just returned from the northern part of the state where I met the rest of the donor's family. Let me just say that it was an interesting weekend. Simon's mother I've met. We get along pretty well and she was no great surprise. His father, on the other hand, is a minister and was very welcoming. They seem to take a liking to me. I didn't realize how much until we went to leave, but I'll get to that later.

We arrived Saturday afternoon and checked into our motel. Simon had his own room, the boys shared a room, his parents and Simon's nephew each had one, along with one for me. We all ooohed and ahhhed over the baby for a while considering that Simon's father had never seen him. Then we went our separate ways, but decided to meet up for dinner. At this point I hadn't established any sort of feelings towards his family, but during dinner I got the opportunity to get a bit of insight. Simon likes to push his parent's buttons. It's kind of amusing, but I don't think that he gets his sense of humor from them. As a matter of fact I'm not quite sure if they have much of a sense of humor. Although they are very nice, they don't seem to be the sarcastic jokers that I am used to.

Simon's nephew is very much immature for his age. He is 14 years old and is very sheltered. He has a lot of medical problems and his grandmother takes care of him. It's a little bit sad to see him so weak. After dinner we all went to the pool and there were a bunch of kids from a little league team staying at the hotel and they were about the same age as him and Simon's boys. The difference was like night and day. Simon's kids looked like they would have joined in with the playing if the boys would have invited them, but Michael, he was just exhausted and very weak when compared to them. I guess he is weak in general, but it was striking when you put him to the back drop of those kids. He can't swim, so he had a life jacket on and it made him stand out a little more. The following morning at church he had to leave the service because his body couldn't take the heat. It's very sad to see a child have to give up most of the wonderful things about being a child. No running, jumping, climbing trees, playing war in the woods and jumping around in the mud. It breaks my heart.

The evening ended with the donor taking EJ to his room and me getting a little more rest than him. First thing in the morning I went and got him and the boys ready and brought down for breakfast and morning insulin shots. His parents joined us for breakfast and I got the feeling that I was a topic of discussion last night. I assume that they were observing the way I was with the boys and the baby, but the donor's father made a comment about how I seem to be the sane one in the bunch and could keep everyone on track. Then he sat next to me and we had a talk about war and the 60s as well as baptisms. Apparently Simon's ex-wife didn't use the family baptism outfit and that did not sit well with them. I told them that I had asked if they had one and that that was fine to use. I didn't mention that my mother had already purchased an outfit that is being waited on to use. It was meant for my nephew, but he wasn't able to use it. She was hoping that I could use it, but I'm not about to break a family tradition. I will get my mother some pictures of the baby in the outfit when he gets older.

At church I met Simon's sister who is adopted, her family and his brother. Mary had two kids (4 and 2) and they are beautiful. She seems a little stand-offish, but that could be because I'm a stranger. Paul seems okay. He has Simon's sense of humor. I can relate to men better than women anyway.

After services Simon's son's were fighting over who got to hold they baby and Drew, his eldest, threw a temper tantrum, and made a huge scene in front of the entire congregation. He's 12. I think he had OCD. His meds can't be strong enough. He has meltdowns all the time. Anyway, he tried to physically take the baby from his brother, I guess in a rough way, and Paul was there, and gave him an ass chewing. Paul told me about it when he caught up with me, and I told Drew that he can't be doing that with the baby. He freaked. Of course he was already freaking, but I think that Simon and I chewing him out made him lose it even more.

So, I drove back to the reception with the parents and we talked about Drew's situation and stuff and I didn't really think much of the conversation except that I got a break from the kids. We arrived, ate and then Simon and his father went for a walk and had a little talk. I had no clue what the talk was about, but it put Simon in an off mood and we left shortly after that.

On the way home Simon told me that his father suggested that he "try to make things as right as possible". In other words, he wants us to get married. They seem to think that I would make a good stepmother for the boys and that I am a good mom to EJ. I'm a natural mother. That was the term that was used. Simon told him that he was not getting married. His father suggested that he reconsider and that was the end of the conversation.

I chewed on this for a while. At first I thought it was amusing, slightly archaic, but sweet. Then I was a little insulted and then I just got insecure. What was so wrong with me that the donor doesn't want to marry me??? What did I do to make him not think that I would be a good wife? The more I thought about it the more upset that I got. I kind of wish that I hadn't been told about the conversation. My insecurity level rose 100% and I started crying when we were talking about it. I told him that I wouldn't marry him because I want someone that wants to be with me and takes pleasure in my company. Someone who doesn't look on me as a responsibility or an obligation. Someone who loves me.

Needless to say, we are not getting married....