Death comes in threes.

Ron called me in to work tonight since he didn't feel like working, so I went, I needed a little break, and Wednesdays are fun because of open mic night. You never can tell what happens. After I hung up with him, my sister called to tell me that my great Aunt passed away. My grandmother is so upset that she can't get her breathing under control. I'm worried about her, but I don't have the funds to take the time off, fly down to LA and take care of her. Plus my sister has everone living in her house and there just isn't the room. Now Gran has to make funeral arrangements (which my aunt and gran were arguing about), and deal with being sick. I am so worried about her, but I try to stem it. I don't want to lose her.

So I go in to work and the bartender Karen tells me that my friend Jay probably won't be coming in tonight. Maybe not for a little while. I asked why and she said that his little boy was involved in a car accident in Tennesse and died. Apparently, his ex-girlfriend (the mom) got drunk, got into a car accident and the toddler died. None of the child's organs could be donated because the accident was just so bad. I was speachless. Jay was over at my house on Saturday and showed me a picture of Kaleb. He looked just like Miller when he was a baby. I keep playing a scene in my head and I cried all the way home from work. My heart is just breaking for Jay. I can't imaging losing a child. My friend Alana's child died at the hand of her boyfriend, and it astounds me that either intentionally or unintentionally, people would consider hurting their child. I won't even put Miller in the car without a seat belt, even if we circle the block. I'm afraid something would happen. To get drunk and drive your baby around??? What the hell is wrong with people. I've been to a baby's funeral and seen the tiny casket. It's sobering and one of the saddest things I've even seen.

Now I sit here waiting for the other shoe to drop. Death comes in threes and I'm scared that it will be my grandmother. In the mean time, I am grieving for my Gran and my friend and the loss of loved ones. I pray that their pain is not too deep and that somewhere, somehow people start to realize that their actions (drunk driving, reckless driving, hitting children) affect others, and that they step back and think before they do something foolish.

Update

Yipee... I can finally log on! I was having problems getting blogger to work for me. I think it was our computer. Problem solved since Simon went and bought 4 computers from a local community college. We now have a computer lab set up on our second floor. Not exactly a homey enviornment, but I'm chalking it up to being out numbered 4 to 1. I'll have to have another child, and have it be a girl in order to get a leg up!!

Well, I've started working as a KJ (Karaoke Jockey) at our local hang out. It's been fun. I get to flirt and do something that I enjoy while making money. Some nights drag on, but for the most part it's a great job. I am only doing Friday nights and filling in, but one of the chicks working is pregnant, so I might get her nights. This leaves my days open to take care of Miller. The donor gets him in the evenings.

My days have been a bit better. Less of a depression taking hold of me. My doc put me on Welbutrin and that seems to be going alright. I am also in counseling, so I get to talk about the things that bother me, instead of holding them in. I am thinking that I need a job as a shrink. I can listen to people and offer advice all day long...and still have room to be a KJ at night!

I'm having a sex toy party this weekend...I hope! The lady sho is supposed to be doing the party has yet to get in touch with me and I am a bit worried that she will show up! So I'm trying to get a back up to cover her ass.

Anne and my sister and her girlfriend and I went out on Saturday. Anne kept rubbing up on my thighs and trying to get me to go into the bathroom with her. Her husband freshened up while we were out, thinking that I would come back home and have a little threesome, but I didn't. I feel like it would be cheating on the donor not to let him know and to get his blessing before I went ahead and scrumped with others! Ahh.... I think I'm growing up. I would have said to hell with it before I was married, but I can't help but remember his ex cheated on him ....multiple times!

Maybe I'll get his permission and arrange a party. I'd love to go to the local swingers party here. We haven't been in so long, I'm nervous all over again!

I hope to update more frequently now that I have access to a computer that works for me.

Oh, CARRIE!!! I lost your link to your new site. If you can post it again, that would be great. I miss hearing from you!

Ciao