He's never coming out. I'm convinced that he will never see the light of day. I must have made it too comfortable or something for him. He just seems to have it made. Gets lots of cushion, warmth, food, and gives me the heartburn. Why in the world would he come out? Would you?

Technically I'm not due until next week. That is the day that the docs are sticking with. The 30th. If he's not here by then, then we need to talk about inducing me, cause I can't do it anymore. If he goes over 40 weeks I'm going to have a fit the likes that noone has ever seen.

My docs say that I'm doing great on bedrest. I've lost 2lbs and I've stabilized the blood pressure, the urine is clean. However, I do have group B strep. Apparently, it is some sort of common bacteria that people carry around. They treat it with anti-biotics during labor. It can cause the baby to die if they contract it, which can definitely happen. They can develop menegitis and other infections of the spine or brain. It's weird that they wouldn't just give me a c-section in order to avoid the transmitting of the bacteria. The stuff I read said that they wouldn't get it that way, or at least the chance was slim to none.

As for everything else, it's going. The donor's ex-wife, who he is still in love with, made the baby a blanket. It's cute. The boys picked out the fabric, so they have the Lion King, Fairly Odd Parents , zebra and tie-dye all rolled into one quilt. It was very nice of her. Does it seem odd that I don't dislike his ex-wife, but his ex-girlfriend irritates the hell out of me?

I've had an interesting week. During my NOT so normal visits to the drs, my blood pressure convinced them, along with some severe swelling and protein in the urine, that I am headed for preeclampsia. So they sent me to Labor and Delivery for observation. This was after I went to pick up Easter candy for some baskets I was making and found myself in the parking lot of KMART, pretty much freaking out. I was drenched in sweat, shaking uncontrollably and thought I was going to pass out. Fortunately, my work was around the corner and one of the girls came and took me to my drs.

After they determined to send me to to the hospital, I went and picked up the donor and we headed to L&D
where they strapped me to a bed, monitored me for a few hrs then sent me home. Guess all was ok.

The next day, Friday, was my regular appointment and I was there for about 3 hours. Supposed to be an in and out thing. The dr said that while I am not yet Preeclampsia, that I was headed there and would probably be by next week. So she prescribed, bed rest, an ultra sound, a non-stress test and a second non-stress test. She also told me that I was starting to dilate and that I have an anterior cervix....which I can't find much on, but can assure you that it is quite painful when they are checking me!

So I head back to work to let everyone know what the deal is and to set up my emails and such so that people know I'm on maternity leave. I get there and my finger starts bleeding. Mind you, I have a growth that sprouted out of nowhere over the past 3 weeks. At first I thought it was a blood blister, then a wart, then I just wasn't' sure. It got really gross and looked like a brain at the end of my ringfinger.

So, anyway, it starts bleeding, and doesn't stop. Not just a trickle, but a lot. So I tell myself to go home and visit a doc in the box. I get on the freeway and all the sudden, the tissues I have wrapped around my finger are soaked in blood and I have blood dripping down my shirt and pants. I rewrapped the finger in a huge swab of papertowels and the same thing happens. Now my finger is gushing blood. I'm starting to get very worried, so I pull off at the nearest exit and head to the ER. I'm paging the donor, who again, forgot his pager, like he did the day before, and I'm letting him know that I'm at the hospital by his work, bleeding badly from my finger.

I walked into the ER and I think I freaked a few people out. Here I am 9 months pregnant, literally covered in blood, and holding my hand out, which is gushing blood. To top it off I had a contraction while in the waiting room. The donor rolls in, finally, just as I'm getting called into the back and parks his ass down for a nap. Urgh....

Meanwhile, I'm in the backed getting checked out by the very sexy resident, who is excited as hell about my finger. He said he was going to go get a second opinion on the diagnosis, I ask if I can bring the donor in, and run off to get him. My finger had been rewrapped in triage, but the dr disloged the tissue and made it start bleeding again. So Im bleeding all over the place when he brings in 2 more sexy residents and their head doctor who wants to take pictures of my finger (it's a teaching hospital). I'm a little amused by this, and say sure, what the hell.

Come to find out, I have pregnancy growth called pyogenic granuloma or pregnancy tumor. It's a vascular growth that bleeds profusely when touched. It's gross. But the sexy residents found it pretty cool. So who am I to complain that they want to oooh and aaah over my nasty finger. They had to cauterize it and it took them about half an hour to get it to stop bleeding. If I thought it was nasty before, I had no clue how disgusting it would be then.

Now I'm all wrapped up in a splint the cramps the hell out of my hand and I don't know when this is going to go away. I'm supposed to follow up with my doc, but got sidetracked at my appointment yesterday.

They gave me another non-stress test, took blood, urine and blood pressure. They also did a pelvic. I'm 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced (thinned out cervix). Oh, and the ultra sounf on Friday showed the baby at about 7 and 1/2 lbs. So now it's just a waiting game. I don't want it to happen today. There are already 4 or 5 people in my family that are born today, and I was starting to get worried that he wouldn't have his own birthday. Don't think I need to worry about that right now. I'm feeling better. I was having back contractions pretty badly last night, another bout of false labor, this makes my 3rd. Had one on Sunday and another on the previous Tuesday... The donor is starting not to get excited by it anymore! I'm pretty sure that I need something to happen "down there" before I need to haul my butt to the hospital. In the mean time, I just have to put up with the Braxton-Hicks crap.

So what does one do while they are on bedrest???? I've irritated the donor, and visa versa. I've talked to everyone in my family, all day long, read every book that I've purchased to keep me occupied. I'm bored. I want something to keep me occupied.

Things don't seem to be getting any easier for Dee. In the complicated mess of her separation, she gets pissed. Which is a good thing, I think. She decides that her stupid husband is not going to hold anything over her head, like the kids and decides that she's going to give him a taste of his own medicine. She called his commanding officer and explained to him that Mark was cheating on her with a recruit. She provided him with enough proof that the CO told her he was coming to pick up the info and that Mark would be called to the carpet the following day. Apparently, what he did was a huge NONO!!! He got throne into the brig for 2 months, his pay got cut in half, his rank went from 1st class to 4th. What will happen after that we have no idea. He will probably be sent back to the ships or something. All I know is that he showed no remorse and left all his belongings with Erica, after he called Dee a money grubbing whore. ASSHOLE!! Like any money that she had wouldn't go to support his children, that apparently he doesn't care about anyway.

She had her baby today. First female child in the family. Amy is a little under weight, but we hope all will be okay with her lungs. Apparently, they aren't fully developed. I'll know more later. I wish I could have been there.

As for me, I've moved in with the donor. I'm not exactly happy about it. It will be better in the long run, but I can't help but feel that I've just left myself open to a big heartbreak. I get attached too easily and I'm already thinking that he belongs to me. He, on the other hand, is dating and having women stalk him and send him gifts, which bothers me. I don't know if I can live like that. I can't do it if I'm sleeping with him. I don't share well. He tells me that I'll just have to adjust to the new reality.

Reality... it's a funny thing. One person's perception of reality is drastically different from another's. For example: My reality is that I am now at the mercy of another person, relying on them to do stuff for me and not having any control over my own life. Another's reality would be that I am getting a helping hand and that I can still have my own life, just with a little help. I don't know which one I believe. I do know that I can't seem to get a grip on anything.

As for the baby. I went to the drs today and they put me on half days at work. I will be allowed 4 hrs of work and then I have to rest for 4 hrs. My blood pressure is high and they want to make sure that all is well with the baby. They are having me come back in on Monday to ensure that I level off. Otherwise I will have to do bed rest. I can't complain; I need the rest. I need the money, too. The well being of the baby is first though. Money is nothing.