Lesson Learned

Lesson learned this week : Do NOT type with the baby in my arms. One click of the button and everything is lost. His click, not mine!

So the donors 10 year old said to me the other day that the only reason that we are getting married is because of EJ. I was a bit taken aback by this and informed him that that is NOT the reason we are getting married. Even though the donor is a great father, I do not believe in getting married for the sake of the children. It doesn't mean that if everyone lives under the same roof that it makes a better enviornment for the child.

I think that he picked that up from his mother, who is turning out to be very fundamentalist.
She doesn't even want the kids to celebrate Halloween!!!! This is my favorite holiday, even more than Christmas, and it's not a religous holiday, so it makes it even better! I can't believe that people don't embrace the superficial holiday for what it is. It's better than being duped into making Easter basket and getting Easter bunnies during a REAL religous holiday, or sitting on a fat, bearded guys lap to celebrate the birth of Christ. Halloween is a fun holiday because there is no subterfuge. (Stepping off my soap box).

I've been having disturbing dreams lately. I dreamt that the donor married his ex and me. Then I had a dream that he let Beth visit us and she kept trying to get into our bedroom. What does this mean? Am I having reservations about getting married?

Boy, Oh Boy....

Well, hmmm... tons of stuff has happened lately. If you've been reading the donor's blog then you know that we are getting married. Yes. Can you believe it???!!! My feelings on this are that I love him, pain in the ass that he is, and I want to be with him. His feelings are a little more complicated. I'll sum it up with he cares for me and that he believes that this is inevitable. Guess I can't win them all.

Speaking of battles... the donor and I are fighting over the bitch ex-gf again. She keeps sending him emails inviting him down and reminding him about the "good times they had". I tell him whenever I read his email, and she is bugging the crap out of me with her come ons. He seems to think that she's just being really nice, like she always is. So I asked him. If you called her right now and said " Beth, I love you will you marry me?" What would she say. He said that she would jump on it. I have no cause to be worried. Maybe not, but she really does piss me off.

I had a pregnancy scare. The donor was perfectly fine with it. He came up with 20 or so names in the time between the test (NEGATIVE!!!!) and the conversation about it. A full out 30 mins. He confuses me.

It's been so long since I've had time to write that I'm not even sure where I left off. Lately I've been working on wedding stuff since I don't have much time. We are doing it on the 30th of October and I have to get the house straight for guests.

I also found a wedding dress. It's beautiful and all me. I just have to wait to buy it because we are having a cash shortage. I can get it in 2 weeks. I hope it's still there. If not, then it wasn't meant to be, but it's beautiful. Very romantic. It looks like a renaissance dress.

The donor says that I am fixated. On the wedding and the kitchen. Tonight he would say on the second floor. I'm always fixated when I don't focus on him. Big baby.
I've redone the bitch's decorating. Thanks a lot for the glued on wall paper. It finally came off, and now the kitchen looks great. No more apples!!! It's a beautiful yellow and blue (both primary) and white cabinets with black hardware. I love it. Next I have to get rid of the crap she put up in the downstairs bathroom. I may just do that tomorrow. If not, who knows when I'll get the energy! Laundry and work on that. Sounds like a plan to me!

As for our sex life... it's pretty non-existent. EJ doesn't let us get started at night and in the morning it's him we wake up to. It's almost like he knows we want to do something, and is keeping us apart on purpose. If we don't do it soon we may not have a chance for a while. He's going to be traveling for work. His trip south got rescheduled because of Hurricane Ivan. Good thing, too. My grandmother's house got a tree through it. My aunt, who lives in it, now has to stay at the hospital where she works because she isn't able to stay there. It's a mess.

Enough for one night. It's almost 11 and I have to go clean up the kitchen from dinner. Good night!

Back Online

I've finally found some quiet time. The past few weeks have been hectic. We've had EJ's baptism, my family visiting, a wedding to go to and now kids to watch. Simon' s ex has returned to work and needs me to keep an eye on the boys this week, as well as my neighbor's child (his mom is at the Republican convention).

Unfortunately, I don't feel like writing. I don't really have a grasp on my emotions at this time. I'm thinking it's because I'm exhausted. When I can express what I'm feeling I'll blog a bit more.

I do have a lot to write about. Such as Simon oggling my sisters, Beth's interference, my trip to the hospital and many more interesting things that I can't focus on right now. Maybe I'll draft it while going to the beach tomorrow.