Holiday Cheer

I just want to know where to get some...Holiday cheer that is. I have married a man who does not seem to want to celebrate Christmas. At least, he doesn't want to celebrate it with his new family. So, I spent my day with EJ, and we went to church, then took a nap and then went to the neighbor's house for a Jewish Christmas party. Not one gift was opened today. I don't have any pictures of EJ with his father on their first Christmas. Not one Merry Christmas from the donor. Not even a call saying that he wished he were here with me and the baby.
So, I sat with the neighbors from 4p.m. until 9. All the guests brought their families for dinner. Mom, dad, kids. It was nice. I guess I didn't realize just how much I wanted to have that family Christmas.
The donor was supposed to be there at 8. He didn't show. He didn't show because he stopped by his ex-wife's house to pick up Drew and to see Ralph. I don't condemn him for that, but I wish he would have invited me. He says that he was there for two minutes, but he didn't get home until 9. When I was walking home with the baby.
So, I cried. I still feel like crying. I just spent Christmas alone. Again. EJ doesn't count. He doesn't understand having people around that count. I guess that is why the donor doesn't want to spend the holiday with us. We don't count.
I guess that I will just have to start traveling for the holidays. If he doesn't celebrate it, because his boys aren't here, then why celebrate it for me and EJ? After all, the holiday doesn't happen if the boys aren't here.

I feel like I'm not being fair. I know that he loves the boys and that it must hurt him not to be able to spend Christmas with them. But I don't want to suffer because of it. If that is selfish, then so be it. EJ is here. He is important to me. I want him to have the best memories of Christmas. I don't want him to remember it as a holiday that isn't celebrated in this house. I want him to have a joyful reminder of Christmas, just like I had. It was the one holiday, other that Halloween that was celebrated in my house that had a happy memory attached to it. I like Christmas. I like spending time with my family during these times. I love watching the kid's faces when they wake on Christmas.

I guess we will have to talk about it.

Merry Christmas all....and to all a good night.

She Went, and Upon Returning...Came!

Ding Dong!!!! Did you hear the bells???? They were ringing in my ears when I got home from my trip north!!! Lordy be! I came and came and came. I don't know what the world did it, but I came so hard I think I woke the neighbors.

I gave the donor a paltry send off. A little morning quickie in the kitchen. He seated on the chair, me straddling him. Then him taking me from behind. Nice, but not a firework in my sight. A little headache from my head hitting the side board....

So I spent a couple of days at my mom's. Holiday shopping and all. I was a couple days late on my monthly, and feeling horny as all hell. Sure signs of pregnancy in my book, but alas, it was not the case. I started my monthly on Saturday...and gave the donor a hell of a gift.

I got back home and put the munchkin to bed....and snuggled up to my honey. Then the munchkin woke. We didn't stop snuggling. I just rolled over, turned on Nemo and kept going for him. He started making out with me...kisses, heavy petting, some dry humping....I was VERY turned on. My breathing was heavy and my nipples tingley....it was nice. The baby was making noises in the back ground, so we pulled the covers up over us and I climbed on top of him. Warning him in advance I told him that I was on my cycle, but he didn't care. My monthly flux just made things slicker, and I sunk down on his hard dick. Ahhh.... it felt so good. I went a little mindless, slamming my hips up and down. Riding his cock, fingering my clit...and then I exploded. I came and came and came....moaning, screaming....thrashing. Soooooo nice.

That wasn't the end.... oh no. We returned home from church the following day for a little afternoon delight. Ahhh.....married life is getting good.

I bought him a pair of Santa boxers. Maybe I can get him to put them on tonight so that I can find out if I've been naughty or nice.

Married Life...

Our sex life has hit the pits.... Between my lack of sex drive and Ej's interuptions, the donor is lucky if he gets it once a week. I actually await the times when sex is over. I try to get into it, I really do! I broke out the toys the other night with good intentions, and EJ spoiled that. I even watched a porn and bought some China Nympho Cream in order to prepare...I fell asleep. It's not just that. When we do, FINALLY, get it on, I find my mind wandering. I make the appropriate noises, but it's just not getting through to me. The donor can't complain too much. At least he gets off. I can't remember the last time I've cum. The sad part is that I'm not sure I'm disappointed.

The donor got on different meds. Maybe I should talk to my doc about getting on them. I vaguely feel like I miss having sex, but I'm a little numb when it comes to getting in touch with my feelings. I think it has to do with the Zoloft...I think...sigh.

Ej and I were picking the donor up from the airport the other day and there was this guy pacing around waiting for someone. He was holding a sign, and I couldn't quite make out what was written on it. Anyway, this lady walks through the gates and meets the guy. It was Brett Butler. The star of the sitcom "Grace Under Fire". So, she walking by, saw Ej and just started fawning all over him. There were tons of babies there and she just went bonkers over the stinky baby! I thought that was pretty cool.